From Jake
The Blog
Raw reflections on Christ and prayer. Written for the man in the fight.
Anger Is a Heart Problem, Not a Mind Problem
You keep trying to manage your temper. The problem was never your temper. It was the thing sitting underneath it.
82 posts
Jesus Redefined Greatness, and It Ruins Every Power Trip
You learned that authority means the right to be served, to call the shots, to have the room rearrange around you. In Mark 10, Jesus takes that definition of greatness and turns it inside out. Here's what you've been missing, and what it does to every power trip you've ever been on.
The Thing You've Never Said Out Loud to Anyone
Shame does one thing well. It keeps you in the dark, where it grows. Bring it into the light.
The Church That Cut Out Hell
A church that only ever says God loves you, and never that God will judge, has left a man defenseless at the edge of a cliff. Love with no wrath is not love. It is sentiment, and sentiment gets men killed.
Your Wife Is a Reflection of Your Leadership
It is half of a true thing men love to turn into a whole lie. You set the weather in your home. But your wife is not a mirror. She is a person.
You Cannot Earn This
You are a man who pays his way, and that is the exact thing keeping you from the one gift that matters. Grace is not a wage. It is a gift.
When the Pulpit Is Afraid of the Culture
A church that will not tell a man the truth about his body and God's design, because it fears being called a bigot, has already handed him to the culture. Silence is not love. It is a shepherd hiding while the wolves work.
Habits of a Godly Leader
Leadership is not built in a day. It is built daily. No man wakes up transformed. Here are six habits worth building your life on.
Lead Her From Your Knees Before You Lead Her From Your Mouth
A man wants to be the head of his home. He just skips the part where it starts.
Though He Slay Me: When Lament Is the Proof You Still Trust Him
You were taught a strong Christian stays calm. Job says you have it backwards. Honest lament is not the opposite of trust, it is one of its purest forms.
Stop Wearing the Worst Thing That Ever Happened to You
Sober is a thing you are not doing. Survivor is a thing that happened to you. Both face backward. Paul wrote the list, then turned it past tense: such were some of you.
Courage Was Never the Absence of Fear
You keep waiting to stop being afraid before you act. That day isn't coming. Move anyway.
Your Pastor Fears the Wrong Person
A shepherd who softens the truth to keep you comfortable is not being kind. He is afraid of you. And a man who fears the congregation cannot warn it.
Your Wife Is a Gift From God. Start Treating Her Like One.
There is a treasure in your house, and a lot of men are treating it like furniture. God does not put her on the furniture list. He calls her a good thing and a gift.
How to Share Your Faith When You're Not a Preacher
You freeze when the opening comes, because in your head sharing your faith means winning a debate. It does not. You are a witness, and a witness tells what he saw.
They Turned the Sermon Into a TED Talk
Eighteen minutes of a man's opinions with three verses sprinkled on top like garnish. You walked out feeling something and learned nothing you could feed yourself with on Monday.
Praying for Your Kids
There comes a day, faster than you think, when your prayers reach further into your kid's life than your hands ever can. That is the hardest, furthest-reaching work a father does.
The Vow You Stopped Keeping Without Deciding To
Nobody signs out of a covenant. They just stop showing up to it.
Why Judas Betrayed
We have shrunk Judas down to a price tag. Thirty pieces of silver. But he did not fall for the money. He fell long before that, one unchecked compromise at a time.
Jesus Is the Main Character of the Old Testament
You have been reading it like He is not in it. He is the main character of the Old Testament, on every page, and the whole road bends toward one hill.
The Fear You Run All Night and Won't Admit by Day
Peace that guards you is not the same as fear that's gone. Stop waiting for the wrong one.
The Church That Won't Say the Word Sin
They swapped sin for brokenness and repentance for self-care. But a man never told he is a sinner is never told he can be saved. You cannot heal a wound you are not allowed to name.
Which Jesus Are They Talking About
A man in a robe can deny that Christ is God, sinless, risen, and the only way to the Father, and still keep the name. Paul had a word for that. So before you receive anyone's Jesus, ask which one he means.
When the Darkness Doesn't Lift: Depression and the Christian Man
You were told a Christian is supposed to be joyful, so you added depression to the pile of ways you are failing. Here is the honest word nobody in the lobby says.
The Man and the Screen: Porn, Grace, and No More Excuses
Half the men reading this fought it this week and never said a word out loud. Two things at once, no more excuses and no more shame, and the engine that frees a man.
You Can Win the Argument and Lose Her
A shepherd walks in front. A boss drives from behind.
Jesus Had More Than Twelve Disciples
Ask the average churchgoer how many disciples Jesus had and you hear twelve. It is wrong, and the mistake matters more than it looks.
The Church Picks Leaders Backwards
The overseer list is almost all character and one line of skill. We promote the impressive man. God asks a different question: what are you like when the lights are off, at your own front door?
Marriage Divided Cannot Stand
Most marriage fights are two teammates who forgot they are on the same team, swinging at each other while the real enemy sits back and enjoys the show.
Make No Peace with Evil
There is one thing you are never allowed to negotiate with, and most men spend their lives trying to cut a deal with it anyway. Evil. Not a person. The darkness itself.
Be Strong and Courageous Was Never a Pep Talk
It gets stenciled over the squat rack like a dare to believe in yourself. But God said it to a frightened man about to cross into a war, and He tied the courage to two things the poster always cuts off: do not turn from My Word, and I am with you wherever you go.
Discipling Your Kids Without Crushing Them
Every Christian father is scared of two failures and only watches for one. He cranks down harder and crushes them. Here is how to bring them up without breaking them.
Cursed Is the Man Who Keeps His Sword Clean
There is a verse in Jeremiah that stops men cold, and if you read it wrong it sends you the exact opposite direction from where God is pointing.
The Man Who Wants Your Kid Is Not a Stranger
You built your instincts around a stranger in a parked car. That man is seven percent. The common version has eaten at your table, and your kid trusts him partly because you do.
How to Read the Bible So It Actually Sticks
You have started in Genesis and it died in the back half of Exodus, again. The problem was never your discipline. It was your method. Here is what actually works.
God Counts the Children
On the last morning of February, an American cruise missile hit an elementary school in Minab, Iran. The Pentagon's own preliminary investigation owns it. Outdated targeting coordinates. One hundred fifty-six people died
Praying for Your Wife
Ask most married men when they last prayed for their wife and you get a long pause. Not prayed about her. For her. It is one of the most important things a man does.
God Already Knew You Would Disappoint Him
Here is the lie that keeps a man on the ground after he falls: he thinks he surprised God. He did not. God knew before you were born, and He chose you anyway.
How to Find a Good Church
Leaving a church is easy to want. Knowing what to walk toward is the part nobody teaches you. Here are the marks of a healthy one, and what to stop shopping for.
Weak Men Feel Safe. Strong Men Keep People Safe. Which One Are You?
There are two kinds of men, and the difference is not size or income. It is one question: who is your strength for? Weak men feel safe. Strong men keep people safe.
God-Fidence: Knowing I Can Not, But He Can
Somebody used a great word today. God-fidence. Not confidence, God-fidence, knowing I can not but He can. The world's version wears out by Tuesday. Here is the swap.
God and the Dishes
I threw the dishes in the trash, yelling, because they were not done. You were forgiven a mountain. Stop coming apart over a sink.
Are You Praying Wrong?
Yeah, I said it. You can pray wrong. Most men almost dial it in, check the boxes, say amen. That is not devotion. The only thing God ever wanted from your prayer was you.
Come as You Are. Don't Stay as You Are.
The church is a hospital for sinners, yes. And nobody checks into a hospital to stay sick. Grace admits you as you are, then it heals you.
You Are Not Disqualified
Somewhere along the way you decided you were out. Not out of heaven, out of being useful. You have it exactly backwards, and one verse proves it.
How to Read the Bible Without Twisting It
The problem is almost never the Book. It is that most men were handed a Bible and never taught how to read one. Here are the rules.
How a Man of Christ Stands in the Culture War
Two easy ways for a Christian man to lose the culture war, and most pick one. Blend in, or blow up. Both lose. There is a third way.
What Is Grace?
Most men think they know what grace is, and most are half-wrong in a way that is quietly exhausting them. Here it is, plain.
What Is a Man of Christ? The Plainest Answer I Can Give You
The word man has been argued into fog. Here is the plain answer, in black and white. Not a personality type, not how loud you are. Here is what a man of Christ actually is.
What Is the Gospel? The Plainest Answer a Man Ever Got
You have heard the word your whole life and maybe nobody ever opened it. Here it is, plain: the gospel is news, not advice, and it changes who owes the debt.
God Never Said This. It's a Lie That Shames Men.
It nearly finished me, and it is not even in the Bible. God will give you more than you can handle, on purpose, so you stop carrying it alone and lean on Him.
Become the Man God Wanted You to Be
God had a man in mind when He made you. You are not him yet. Here is how you close the gap. Not seven ideas to think about. Seven things to do, starting today.
They Took the Cross Out of Your Church
You can sit in a church every Sunday of your life, mean every word, and still be lost. A hard word on the soft gospel and the men it leaves behind.
You Cannot Discern From the Cheap Seats
A man can spend six hours a week watching other people's errors get exposed and zero hours serving anyone, and mistake the first for faithfulness. Judging is commanded. That's why doing it badly costs.
You're Not Alone. You're Not Forgotten. You're Not Finished.
Most people thought I was fine. That was the point. If you're reading this and nobody knows about you either, I'm not writing this at you. I'm writing it to you.
You've Restarted Your Bible Reading Twenty Times
You've started over in Genesis more times than you can count. Here's why the plan keeps dying in February, and what to do differently.
What Do You Do With a Prayer God Didn't Answer?
You prayed for years and the answer never came. Here is what Scripture actually says about that, without the formulas: Paul's thorn, Gethsemane, and the lament psalm that ends in the dark on purpose.
When Your Wife Is the Stronger Believer
He believes it's real. He believes God is real. And he still feels like a fraud sitting beside her. Being behind your wife spiritually isn't a disqualification, it's a starting position.
When Should a Man Leave His Church?
There are real reasons to leave a church, and there are bad reasons that feel identical from the inside. Most men who leave should have stayed. A few who stayed should have left years ago.
When Church Discipline Disappears, Darkness Moves In
When discipline disappears, darkness is not kept outside. It moves in. It finds room to grow.
I Let It Go to Voicemail
A brother called and I let it ring. I was working. When I finally called him back days later, I found out his wife had filed for divorce, and that wasn't even all of it.
What "The Law of Christ" Actually Means
Nobody ever gave you the rule for which Old Testament commands still apply. Here's why the usual three-part answer doesn't hold, what replaced it, and why the standard got harder instead of easier.
The Anger You Think You're Hiding
Nobody's been hit. Nobody could report anything. And everyone in the house is adjusting all day around one man's mood. Not hitting people is a floor, not a standard. Here's the diagnostic that tells.
The Warning Passages, and What They Actually Do
A man reads Hebrews 6:4-6 and his stomach drops. The warning passages deserve a real answer, not a fast one. Here's the opposing case at full strength, and why the warnings keep you rather than doom you.
They Thanked You. Then They Left You Alone.
Somebody shook your hand this year and thanked you for your service. That handshake is the whole relationship for a lot of men. Here is what happens after the mission ends, and why the word “just” is doing too much work.
Strong Men Were Never Meant to Carry Life Alone
You can be dependable without pretending you are invincible. Men were never meant to carry life alone.
The Knights Templar: A Complete, Historically Accurate History
Nine poor knights, a war, a bank, and the most powerful order in Christendom, arrested out of existence in one dawn. The whole true story, with the myths labeled as myths.
It Is Finished
Jesus did not say, 'I am finished.' He said the work was finished. There is an important difference.
If You Want to Lead Your Home, Learn to Repent First
Biblical leadership is not built on getting the final word. It is built on taking the first step.
How Do You Know If You're Actually Saved?
A man can know. Not by counting up his good days, but by looking at what Christ already finished. On assurance, doubt, and the difference between feeling saved and being saved.
Feeling Sorry Is Not Repentance
A man can run the shame loop for ten years and call it a walk with God. Fail, feel awful, promise, fail again. Here is the difference between sorrow that kills and sorrow that turns a man around.
Christians Reserve the Right to Judge Each Other, and Why This Is Biblical
Jesus did not forbid all judgment. He commanded His followers to make righteous judgments.
You Are Not Under the Law, You Are Under Christ
A lot of good men walk around crushed under a rulebook they can't keep, or sure grace means the rules are off. Both missed what the cross actually did.
The Same Finger That Wrote the Law Wrote in the Dust
Religious leaders thought they were defending God's law. They did not understand that God was standing in front of them.
How to Pray When You Don’t Know What to Say
Prayer is not a performance. God is not grading your vocabulary or comparing you to the man sitting across the aisle.
The Importance of Prayer in Men’s Lives
The Thing You Can’t Forgive Yourself For Has Already Been Paid For
You may know God forgives you. But somewhere inside you still believe what you did was too deliberate, too ugly, too late.
You Do Not Need to Pull Yourself Together. You Need to Be Rescued
You do not clean yourself before being rescued. You call for help. You do not wait until you have learned to swim before admitting you are drowning.
Forgiveness Is Commanded. Reconciliation Is Not
Forgiveness releases the debt to God. Reconciliation rebuilds the relationship. They are not the same thing.
The Cross Around Your Neck Means Nothing If You Refuse the One on Your Back
Faithfulness begins where convenience ends. Anybody can follow Jesus when the road is comfortable. The cross reveals who follows Him when the road becomes costly.
Sinful Churches Are Weak Churches
A church that hides sin may look united because no one is talking about the problem. That is not unity. That is fear.
Woe to the Church That Calls Evil Good
When a church blesses what God condemns, it is not showing love. It is leading people toward judgment.