Jake McCluskeyStand Your Watch

A Series

The Man at Home

A man stands at a kitchen sink with his hands in the water and his back to the room, while behind him in a lit doorway his family carries on without him. The words read You Went Numb, and called it strength.

There is a way a man can be in the house and not be home. At the table and gone from it. The lights are on and nobody is inside.

This is six posts about that man, and about the road back. It is not a program. It is a confession, and what God did with it.

Read them in order if you can. They go where it went. Numb first, then the hiding, then the leading that never happened, then the temper, then the bottle, then the nights. If one of them lands too close, that is not an accident. That is the point.

You are not the first man in this. You do not have to stay in it.

  1. 01
    A man stands at a kitchen sink with his hands in the water and his back to the room, while behind him in a lit doorway his family carries on without him. The words read You Went Numb, and called it strength.

    You Went Numb and Called It Strength

    A man can be in the house and not be home.

    4 min read
  2. 02
    A dark hallway at night with a child's bedroom door left ajar and a nightlight inside, a man in a work jacket passing the doorway without stopping. The words read You Called It Providing, they called it gone.

    You Called It Providing. They Called It Gone.

    There's a kind of man who is never home and never once thinks of himself as absent.

    4 min read
  3. 03
    A woman's hands are folded over a worn Bible on the arm of a couch in a quiet living room at night, one lamp lit, an empty armchair across the room. The words read Nobody Is Leading Your Home.

    Nobody Is Leading Your Home

    Walk into most Christian houses and you'll find a woman carrying the spiritual weight of the family, and a man who would be genuinely surprised to hear it.

    4 min read
  4. 04
    A single coffee cup sits alone on a kitchen counter with a dried ring on the wood beneath it, the rest of the room dark and still. The words read It Was Never About the Cup, it was the load you carried in.

    It Was Never About the Cup

    A cup gets left on the counter. Not in the sink, on the counter, six inches away, with a ring drying under it.

    4 min read
  5. 05
    A plain steel travel mug sits on a cold garage shelf in early morning light with a folded shop rag beside it, deep shadow behind. The words read The Bourbon in the Coffee, the hiding is the tell.

    The Bourbon in the Coffee

    Nobody starts out hiding it.

    5 min read
  6. 06
    A dark bedroom in the middle of the night with a single bar of streetlight falling through a gap in the blinds, the rest of the room black. The words read The Nights Are the Worst of It.

    The Nights Are the Worst of It

    Daylight is manageable.

    6 min read
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